This is a scene that was in the original first draft for the episode 'Chitty Chitty Death Bang' but was later removed. Since it was never produced, i used screen captures from other episodes to try and illustrate the scene a little bit.

(Peter and Brian watch TV. Chris does his homework. He slams his pencil down, frustrated.)
Chris:
Dumb stupid math! This is so lame.

Peter:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me take a look.

(he takes Chris' book and reads the cover.)
Peter (cont'd):
(reading) "Math for Students With Attention Deficit Disorder." (opens the book) "Number one: If a train travelling at fifty miles per hour leaves the station at four o'clock, I was on a train once. Hey look, a bird. I smell bacon." (to chris) Why don't you just look up the answer in the back?

(he flips to the back of the book. suddenly the room is bathed in a flashing red light. a siren sounds. Peter closes the book quickly. the room returns to normal.)
Peter (cont'd):
Guess they don't let you do that anymore.

(outside. Peter complimenting his friends.)
Peter:
And Joe, I've had new neighbours before but none of them were half the man you are. And since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.

(Peter must get the word out about Lois' play "The King And I".)
Peter:
Don't you worry Lois, I'll get the word out. I'll tell two (2) friends an, and they'll tell two (2) friends and that, that's like ten (10) people right there!

(outside. Lois is running for school board president.)
Cleveland:
Hi Lois, you've got our votes. (holding a "Griffin for President" sign.)
Lois:
Thanks. Someone has to run against that awful Betsy Lebeau. She actually opposes background checks for new teachers. God knows who she might hire?

(cut to a classroom.)
Male Teacher:
So, the square of the hypotenuse, which we will label "C" making the sides opposite both of the acute angles "A" and "B"...

(hands little girl a note.)
Male Teacher (cont'd):
...will always equal the sum of the squares of the other sides.
(girl reads note that says:
Do You Like Me? Yes No Maybe.)

Male Teacher (cont'd):
Any questions?
(looks at the girl and smiles slowly.)

Clip: Video (WMV, 469.6 k, 14/06/06)

(high school)
Meg:
Are you crazy?! What are you doing here?
Peter:
If you must know, I've gone undercover to get rid of the toad problem. So your school can be safe and innocent, like the good old days.

(cut to an 18th century school)
Girl Student:
Negative "B", plus or minus radical "B" squared, minus four "A" "C", over two "A".
Male Teacher:
That's correct. A girl answered a math problem! You know what that means?

(pauses. points to girl student and exclaims.)
Male Teacher (cont'd):
A WITCH!!!

(class proceeds to stone the girl student.)

(Joe just found the first silver scroll that enables him to take a tour of the Pawtucket brewery.)
Peter:
What's going on?

Cleveland:
It seems Joe has found the first scroll. He's tasting victory; I bet it tastes good, like salt-water taffy or a chunky.

Peter:
Oh no! If there's four tickets and one of'ems gone, tha, tha, tha, that, that leaves...

(cuts to a science lab where Peter conducts a few scientific experiments.)
Peter (cont'd):
This many! (holds up three (3) fingers.)

Clip: HI | LO
Video Clip Requires Windows Media Player. Clip provided by FOX.com

(bedroom. Peter announces that the family is going to a baseball game.)
Lois:
Peter, you can't just pull the kids out of school for a baseball game.

Peter:
Ah, there's nothing these kids learn in school that they can't learn on the street.

(cut to two guys on a street.)
Guy on Street #2:
It's 3:00. Where the hell is Louie?

Guy on Street #1:
Well, you tell me. Louie left his house at 2:15 and had to travel a distance 6.2 miles traveling at a rate of five miles an hour. When will Louie get here?

Guy on Street #2:
Depends if he stops to see his ho.

Guy on Street #1:
That's what we call a "variable".

(living room. Chris is on floor doing homework, Peter watches TV.)
Chris:
Dad? Can you help me with my math homework? Mr. Sagglefritz says that if I don't learn it, I won't be able to function in the real world.

(cut to scene of country Gas Station. Chris is holding a map and is asking for directions.)
Attendant (looks like an old man with dirty mechanics uniform):
Okay, now what you gotta do is go down the road, past the old Johnson place, and you're gonna find two roads: one parallel and one perpendicular. Now keep going until you come to a highway that bisects it at a 45º angle. Solve for 'x'.
(Chris is on the ground sucking his thumb in the fetal position.)

(cut back to living room.)
Peter:
Math, hmmph! Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.

Clip: YouTube